Cleveland Tourism Videos [Late Meme Action]

We couldn't possibly be more tardy on the Cleveland Tourism Videos (note: they're not real, ya'll) internet meme. But that's okay. They're still hilarious. And when I saw that TNT decided to spoof a spoof with their Inside the NBA promo last night, I couldn't help but realize that late or not, people needed more of Cleveland. YEAH! Seriously, it stinks to be Cleveland and get dogged here, but these are hysterical.



And the second one ...

JetAmerica Offering $9 Airplane Tix

Airplanes typically tend to favor bigger markets; this is an obvious economic trend based on the fact that more people and more money reside in said markets.

But just like .OBP was ignored for years in baseball (see Michael Lewis' Moneyball), the large-market trending of airlines creates a value void of sorts: which is exactly why JetAmerica is offering $9 airplane flights from various mid-size markets.

Clearwater, Fla.-based JetAmerica said 34 nonstop passenger flights a week will
start July 13 at Toledo, Ohio; South Bend, Ind.; Melbourne, Fla.; Newark, N.J.;
Minneapolis and Lansing, Mich. Twenty-eight flights start or end at Newark
Liberty International Airport. The carrier will add six more flights — from
Toledo to Minneapolis — starting Aug. 14.

And the reason they're flying into places like this is that, as mentioned above, the mid-size markets have been ignored. Oh, that and they're getting subsidies from the various geographical locations in order to provide service there for cheap, cheap rates.

Yes, the word "subsidy" sends a shiver down my spine too, but remember, these are coming from the airfields themselves. It's not some awkward GM/Big Tobacco situation.

Rapping Flight Attendant Explains Generally Acceptable Accounting Principles to Southwest Shareholders

No. The title is not a mistake. Southwest's upper management people decided that they should bring David Holmes, the famous rapping flight attendant, to the shareholders' meeting in the role of "rhythmic ambassador" to explain actually what "Generally Acceptable Accounting Practices" are. As the CEO explained, "Now GAAP is fun!



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'Cheese Rolling and Wake' Festival: Where Hilarity Always Ensues

I wish I could possibly attempt to explain the unintentional hilarity revolving around the annual Gloucestershire 'Cheese Rolling and Wake' at Cooper’s Hill near the village of Brockworth. But I can't. What I will tell you is that the "winner" of the "race" is a five-time winner (consecutive, no less!) named Chris Anderson, who, at the age of 21, just retired from the "sport."

David de Rothschild to Sail the Pacific in the Plastiki, a Boat Made Entirely of Recyclable Plastics

The Plastiki is an odd "boat," mainly because it is made entirely of recyclable plastics. Of course, that would just be kitschy, if David de Rothschild's didn't plan on sailing across the Pacific Ocean in the literal piece of junk. Via the New Yorker.

Disney Plans D.C. Hotel at National Harbor

Earlier this week, Disney Parks and Resorts purchased a 15-acre site from the Peterson Companies at the National Harbor in Prince George's County, Maryland.

The property overlooks the Potomac and is being considered for a new stand-alone Disney hotel. Milton V. Peterson, chairmen of the Peterson Companies, was thrilled over the sale:

Disney is the top family entertainment company in the world, and its purchase is a great vote of confidence in the future of National Harbor.

For Disney's part, Jay Rasulo, Chairman of Parks and Resorts, said the family entertainment giant had plenty to offer and plenty to gain from a Washington DC property:

As we began identifying possible locations to grow our business, the Washington, DC area immediately jumped to the top of the list. National Harbor offers an array of entertaining activities for regional visitors, but it is also a family-friendly base camp, from which visitors from around the world can explore the stirring sights and inspirational stories of our nation’s capital.

Disney's new resort hotel will join an already wide variety of National Harbor attractions, including a variety of restaurants and venues, boutique stores and J. Seward Johnson Jr.'s mildly terrifying but completely awesome sculpture, "The Awakening." (pictured above)

Norweigian Cruise Lines Announces Addition of Blue Man Group to Entertainment Facilities

The eternally creepy Blue Man Group, for whatever reason, remains one of the most popular entertainment acts in the world. And beginning in 2010, they will be cross-transcontinental (or something) as they'll be the featured act on Norweigian Cruise Lines' newest boat: The EPIC.

Also featured? The classic Norweigian go-to, Second City Stage group will perform in a comedy club aboard the 4,200 passenger ship.

But wait! There's more!

The EPIC will also have a bar made of ice (I have no clue as to why it's relevant, but it seems pretty freaking cool), cabins with curved walls, seen below in quite dope fashion, and a "Cirque Dreams" (think de Sol) show in the Spiegel Tent, which looks like a Barnum and Bailey tent party. People will have their waters refilled by ILLUSION, in which the air will lift a pitcher and pour water ... well, you get it. Excitement, etc., especially for family cruising.

Hyatt Gives Away Vacation Via Twitter

Twitter. You know you want to know what's going on with it. And now you have an excuse -- you want to win a free, paid vacation to the Hyatt Regency Tamaya.

That's right. It's "social media FTW" time; Twitter isn't just for nerds who like to engage with the world in bursts of 140-character, pedantic (and sometimes snarky) messages. It's for people who like to win vacations too!

What can you win? Excellent question. How about a 3-night stay for two persons in a luxury suite at the Hyatt Regency Tamaya, airport transportation, daily breakfast, one dinner, two spa visits and 18 holes of golf (or a trail ride; if you select the latter, just sell me your golf.)

Now, of course, there is kind of a catch. See, you have to have a Twitter account (duh) and you have to provide your Twitter name, Twitter password (boo), email address (quadruple boo) and your name.

The Twitter password isn't a huge deal because basically, the Twitter-Contest page will just automatically tweet the news that you entered the contest, which I believe is a requirement. What creeps me out is the email address ... because I have a hunch that you might suddenly be getting some Hyatt newsletters. Of course, I'm much too lazy to read the terms and conditions, but I bet if I did, there would be something about opting-in found within the small print.

However, if you like free stuff and you don't care about emails relating to Hyatt hotels, hit it up. What's the worst that can happen? (Answer: Spam! Upside: Free vacation!)

Airline Service Improves Slightly, Fliers Agree

According to recent consumer research, airline service has gotten better over the last several months. Although the numbers aren't dramatic, it's important to note that the improved passenger experience is in spite of additional airline fees for second bags, snacks and much more.

The airline business scored 64 out of 100 in the first quarter of this year, a 3.2% increase over the same period a year ago, according to the American Customer Satisfaction Index, which randomly surveyed thousands of consumers across the U.S. Major carriers saw improved scores, or at least no decline.

Despite the fact that airlines managed to break even or improve slightly in customer satisfaction, their overall performance is relatively dismal.

Airlines were still among the lowest-scoring businesses in the index, which measured customer satisfaction with the products or services of hotels, restaurants and 14 other sectors. Full-service restaurants scored highest at 84. Airlines scored far below their own index high of 72, achieved in 1994.

Since it's graduation season, let's use an educational metaphor... that means that at their very best in 1994, fliers still gave airlines a C minus (on the 10-point scale). That makes their current "64 out of 100" a solid 'D'. But even that disappointing review may have given them too much credit.

"It certainly looks like most of these increases, if not all, are due to lower passenger load," says Claes Fornell, professor of business at the University of Michigan and index founder, noting that the recession has kept many Americans from traveling.

To continue the metaphor from earlier, airlines would have completely failed the service test, but there was a big enough curve for them to squeak by with a D.

Now to be fair, airline satisfaction will never be as high as it will for full-service restaurants. The reasons are obvious... having a well prepared meal will always be more enjoyable than spending five hours trying to sleep against a bulkhead. Not to mention security. When was the last time you had to walk through a metal detector to eat at a five star restaurant? Yet, security is a much needed aspect of air travel.

Despite all the "necessary evils" that plague air travel, there are still plenty of ways airlines could easily improve customer satisfaction and flier experience. If you need a good example, look no further than Dustin Curtis' excellent critique and redesign of American Airlines' homepage.

Privacy Groups to Protest Creepy Airport Security Measures

The TSA, everyone's favorite shining beacon of national security, announced recently that they plan to employ "full body imaging" for airports in the future. It's a notion that seems, well, horrible.

No one in their right mind wants to see America naked one person at a time, even for the sake of safety. Oh, right. And it's a total and utter violation of privacy. At least that's what various "privacy protest groups" are claiming.

"People need to know what's happening, with no sugar-coating and no spinning,"
said [Lillie] Coney [associate director of the Electronic Privacy Information Center].

Which is why the EPIC is banding together as many people and organizations as possible in order to keep the TSA and the government from moving forward with the permanent placement of these full-body imaging machines in airports.

Chris Calabrase, an ALCU attorney, echoed similar feelings and also brought up one of the most important points: misuse of these images.

"A choice between being groped and being stripped, I don't think we should pretend those are the only choices," he said. "People shouldn't be humiliated by their government" in the name of security, nor should they trust that the images will always be kept private.

"Screeners at LAX [Los Angeles International Airport]," he speculated, "could make a fortune off naked virtual images of celebrities."

Now, certainly all of the TSA employees are upstanding citizens sworn to protect America's safety one hassled traveler at a time, but Calabrase is being realistic here -- everyone has their price, and if that price happens to be $15,000 for a slew of shots of Justin Timberlake "naked" (as naked as he can be in an x-ray machine) from TMZ, well, let's just say that said TSA employee would probably fall closer to the median American person than the one with high standards.

But that's not to totally bemoan the TSA's attempts to keep us safe; it's just that when you're dealing with privacy -- just as with, conveniently, naked pictures of yourself on the Internet -- once that line is crossed, it's hard to turn back and go the other way. So in that frame of mind, I fully applaud the kind people of these protestacularly caring institutions.

Mexican Resorts Raise the Stakes

It's no surprise that the H1N1 flu virus (swine flu) has taken an incredible toll on Mexico's tourist industry. As a result, some resorts in Mexico are going to great lengths to restore tourists' confidence.

The PR strategies began simply, with several destinations in Mexico touting their own lack of fatal swine flu cases. Now resorts are taking a similar approach to American automakers who assuage consumer fears by promising to cover payments in the event of a job loss... with an obvious medical twist:

Real Resorts is offering any guest who contracts the H1N1 flu virus within 14 days of visiting any of its resorts in Cancun or Playa del Carmen up to one free return trip a year for the next three years (same dates, length of stay and accommodation).

The guest must have it confirmed as H1N1 and must provide a positive blood result for the flu by a state-certified laboratory within 14 days of checkout, Real Resorts said. The "flu-free" guarantee applies to travel between May and October.

The deal was released less than a week after AMResorts launched an almost identical offer of three free vacations to any guest who books in Mexico between May 8 and June 30 and contracts the flu while staying at an affiliated property anytime through Dec. 20.

For more information on these incredible deals and resorts, call your travel agent or visit www.professionaltravelguide.com.

United States Airlines Collect $1.1 BILLION in Extra Baggage Fees in 2008

Bag checking is a dirty industry. There's no two ways about it -- if you're charging your consumer extra cash to bring their stuff with them then you shouldn't sleep at night. But it's not just a dirty industry ... it's also a billion dollar industry.

That's right -- US air carriers pocketed an absolutely obscene $1.1 BILLION in extra baggage fees in the 2008 year.

American Airlines led the way, earning $278 million in extra profit for checked baggage, with US Airways and Delta (not that) close behind at $187.1 and $177.1 million, respectively.

Of course, many economy-minded folks argue that it's wholly necessary for the airlines to charge these baggage fees; after all, they're facing a tough financial situation and need to recoup the losses incurred over the past 12 months.

I'm cool with that -- and to an extent, I don't think luggage charges are bad. My problem is that too often, airlines are charging for "standard" luggage. Southwest, for instance, allows two checked bags. That's "standard." If you're going on a trip for any reasonable length, you need to bags most of the time. Forcing people to pay simply to check reasonable amounts of luggage is just too aggressive for my tastes, even if it's worth a billion dollars.

Air Jamaica Begins Worst Policy Ever

Air Jamaica effectively eliminated second bags today when they announced the dumbest airline policy since Ryanair considered charging passengers to use the bathroom.

Charging additional fees for everything from checked bags to pillows and peanuts has become modus operandi for airlines in tough times, but Air Jamaica has taken the absurdity to new heights.

On Monday, Air Jamaica started charging passengers $25 for the second checked bag on flights from New York to Grenada and Barbados, but the second checked bag won't be on their flight.

Air Jamaica will transport the first checked bag on passengers' flights, at no charge. All other bags will be transported within seven days and must be picked up at the airport, Air Jamaica said.

Here's another suggestion. Why not freight all that luggage from New York to the Florida Keys and then launch it to Grenada and Barbados using a giant catapult? That way when the policy fails miserably there would at least be the satisfaction of a splash as your personal belongings disappear into the Caribbean Sea.

Plus, you wouldn't have to wait "up to 7 days" for the splash.

If this policy was really put in place because of "weight restrictions on the plane" does that mean that the same rules apply on the return flight home? This is clearly just another case of inane boardroom decision making that has no basis in reality.

Southwest Airlines Flight Catches Fire on Runway

Landing on a runway, for those that are scared of flying, means one thing: safety. Typically speaking, once your plane's wheels hit terra firma, you're safe. And that ended up being the case for the passengers in the video below, although they got quite a scare when their Southwest Airlines flight caught fire as the plane landed.

Airlines Eye New Seats to Save Weight, Accidentally Satisfy Passengers

While the current economic crisis has left countless people jobless or underwater with worthless mortgages, there is one group that may benefit from the downturn: air travelers.

Generally speaking, money (whether high in the black or deep in the red) is the main driver behind change in a business. Fortunately for air travelers, they may get to reap a few unexpected benefits. To cut costs in these trying times, airlines have begun exploring new seat designs.

Currently, airline seats weigh between 24 and 33 pounds a piece and sport backs that are roughly 3 inches thick. New seat designs aim to reduce costs by reducing weight and potentially, allowing more seats to fit on each plane.

Thankfully for airline passengers, there could be unexpected benefits to the new designs. Nearly all new seat models offer more personal space and they accomplish it in a variety of ways. Some include better footrests, some have a hard shell back that never moves and floating cushions that slide down and forwards when the passenger reclines.

Perhaps the most creative concept are the staggered seats (shown above) by Thompson Aero Seating. The unique design eliminates the competition for elbow and shoulder room without reducing the number of seats. Even the most economical of the new seats, a slender 20-pound model made for short haul flights, still offers 4 and a 1/2 extra inches of shin and leg room compared to current economy seating.

The bottom line: airlines have finally found a way to save money that doesn't involve an extra charge, and they may improve passenger experience in the process.

Japan Airlines Plane Snacks on Cargo Box

If you were an airplane, what would you eat? "Hot dog" or "bbq spare rib" come to mind immediately, but how about "a giant box of cargo?" Because that's exactly what a Japan Airlines Boeing 747 did late last night while attempting to take off from Los Angeles International Airport. There were 245 passengers on board, and fortunately nothing was hurt except for the plane's pride (this is the equivalent of your child having its head stuck in a chair at the local Chinese restaurant in the middle of a Sunday buffet with everyone in town there pointing and ... anyway, I digress.) Enjoy the video of the plane looking hungry and foolish.

Swine Flu Cancels Tijuana Potros' Baseball Season

The swine flu has claimed another economic casuality, this time in the form of the Tijuana Potros, who were scheduled to begin their first season in the Golden Baseball League.

The Potros' games -- which apparently represented 10% of the GBL's total schedule -- will force the GBL to readjust their schedule, and the Potros have stated that they intend to play in another year, but don't believe the 2009 season to be economically viable.

"The H1N1 virus health risk and the necessary government response and actions have wreaked havoc with the economy and businesses small and large throughout the country," said Tijuana Potros President Jose Manuel Pena. "It is not possible to operate with this uncertainty that keeps sponsors from committing, fans from buying tickets, and the stadium unavailable to host public events."

Now, not to make light of swine flu (EVER!) but, really? Couldn't they just rent out a baseball park in Arizona to play the games? Or have the league schedule the first half of their season on the road while we wait for this thing to go all SARS-y on us? I mean, that would guarantee at least some revenue without dogging the rest of the league over. And the people of Tijuana would get their baseball. Of course, people might not be so gung-ho to play road games, but worst case: the Potros could parlay multiple forfeits into postseason home-field advantage and a championship in their first year.

Via Rovell's Twitter

Ireland's Surfing Is Surprisingly Intense [Video]

"Powers of Three," a new movie set to release shortly, chronicles the incredible, unknown surfing in and around Ireland. The trailer below depicts some of these intense waves.

Flesh-Eating Bacteria Claims Life of Cruiser

The British media has been hard at work covering the story of a cruise passenger who died after contracting a flesh eating bacteria.

58-year-old Raymond Evans was on a Mediterranean cruise two months ago when he fell in a port city and injured his knee. Upon returning to the ship Evans was treated by the ship's doctor and given rounds of antibiotics.

Some time later, a black spot had shown up on the back of his knee. The knee continued to worsen, and the "blotchy blackness" and deterioration spread to his chest, elbow and fingers.

Evans was placed in the ship's hospital for care and transferred to an intensive care unit at a hospital in Alexandria, Egypt, where he died of multiple organ failure. His death came less than 24 hours after the black spot first appeared on the back of his knee. The cause: a flesh-eating bacteria called necrotizing fasciitis.

According to CDC estimates, necrotizing fasciitis causes between 10,000 and 15,000 infections in the United States every year. Of those, 2,000 to 3,000 prove fatal. The bacteria is most commonly contracted through a wound, often after surgery or injury.

Raymond Evans death was a tragedy, but it's paramount that news organizations not blow these types of events out of proportion. Even if he was infected on board the ship, it doesn't change the reality that cruising has been and remains one of the safest options for travel. It is no more dangerous than staying in a hotel in a major city or using public transportation.

Swine Flu (A H1N1 Virus) dominated the news cycle for the last two weeks as the world watched the infected count rise into the low hundreds. There was even a news story about how the only pig in Afghanistan, on display at a Kabul zoo, had been quarantined to quell local fears and misunderstandings about the virus.

According to the CDC, since January more than 13,000 Americans have died of complications with seasonal flu. The very same flu that comes around every single year. The CDC also estimates that worldwide deaths from the standard seasonal flu number between 250,000 and 500,000.

All this isn't to say that swine flu is a casual issue or that Raymond Evans' death was insignificant, both are important events and deserve to be reported. Evans' widow deserves answers about her husband's medical treatment aboard the ship and in the hospital in Alexandria and our condolences go out to her.

But none of these stories justify sounding the alarm bells over cruising or travel in general. If they do, then people may as well just stay inside for the rest of their lives, stop driving cars, stop eating at restaurants, etc...

What the world really needs right now is a vacation... not another incredibly obscure reason to be afraid.

easyJet Wants to Really Open Up the Mile-High Club

"I now pronouce you ..."

People get married in odd places (underwater, Las Vegas chapels, haunted houses, funeral homes, etc.) all the time. Go ahead and add "30,000 feet in the air" to that list, because easyJet has requested permission to hold wedding ceremonies on airplanes.

"If our request is replied positively, then so called 'floating on cloud nine' would get a new meaning for people in love - and we can offer another special service to our passengers."

[...]EasyJet captain Jeffery Husson added: "To officiate a wedding is a special honour for me.

"It would be exciting if I could marry couples above the clouds."

It would also be awkward if no one was flying the plane too, Cap. Of course it would make more sense (logically speaking) to have an actual ordained minister performing these rituals. But fiscally, I suppose a guy trained to fly an airplane will suffice in administering the holiest of vows.

Of course, there's one key issues here: where do the folks go for the honeymoon? The restroom seems the only logical place and, well, that's just awkward. Actually there are probably more, but I suppose when you concede to getting married by an airplane pilot, that's just one of the things you prepare for.

You May Now Commence Riding Topless at Disneyland

Disneyland had a long-standing (10 years) policy about topless behavior on their Splash Mountain ride, as well as a handful of other rides, at Disney's California Adventure and Disneyland. Obviously, you weren't allowed to reveal yourself.

That's changed in the past few days as Disney has announced that they will no longer have employees specifically designated to monitor whether people are flashing the cameras or lifting their shirts on the rides.

Disneyland spokeswoman Suzi Brown says the changes took effect Sunday at Splash
Mountain, Tower of Terror, Space Mountain and California Screamin'.

Riders are photographed on the attractions and can then buy souvenir copies. Some have exposed their breasts in hopes that the picture would make it onto a photo preview screen at the ride's exit.

Ms. Brown stated that the "actual inappropriate behaviors by guests are rare" but my guess would be that "the wonderful economy" won't allow the park to continue "paying people to look for breasts."

Besides, shouldn't the inherent shame of showing one's fairly private parts on a screen at a Disney park be ample punishment for the deed at hand anyway? I say so. Free hat! Er, shirt.

Ben Southall Wins 'Best Job in the World'

"The Best Job in the World" has been chronicled all over the place, and now there's a winner: Ben Southall, an English "adventurer."

The news was announced today via Queensland Premier Anna Bligh:

“It was a tough challenge for both the candidates and the selection panel and I am proud to announce that on July 1 Ben Southall will become Tourism Queensland’s newest employee as Caretaker of the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef," Ms Bligh said.

“We are looking forward to Ben starting his role ... and showing us what he can do during the six months.”

Yes, aren't we all. Except by "looking forward to" what she mean is "plan on being insanely jealous of." Now, I'm not sure what Southall will do, but he darn sure better be quirky, because if he's not, this is going to end up being a pretty lame promotion.

And yes, that's just me being bitter. Congrats to Mr. Southall.

Cruise West Announces World's Longest Cruise

Around-the-world cruising isn't a new concept, but no one's ever done it quite like this.

Cruise West recently announced its plan to circumnavigate the globe in a leisurely 335 days. The cruise will be, by far, the longest of its kind in the industry. More information and an itinerary are expected later this month, but for now the cruise line has kept details to a minimum:

The ship will visit 59 countries over 14 oceans and seas during a cruise that intends to trace the destinations of historical sailors and explorers.

Jules Verne eat your heart out. For more information about Cruise West or their individual ships, visit PTG's unbiased professional review with information on everything from amenities to services and the history of the cruise line.

Branson, Missouri, to open America's First Private Commercial Airport

Put on your spangles and break out the moonshine! Branson's gettin' an airport!

But not just a regular airport, America's first privately-funded, privately-owned, for-profit commercial airport. Private airports are old hat in Europe and Latin America, and growing in popularity in Asia, but until now every commercial airport in the US has been built with or subsidized by taxpayer money.

The airport will be modest, only offering four parking spots for planes, a single runway, no jet bridges (passengers will deplane directly to the tarmac via staircases), and an incredibly modest 58,000 square foot terminal. The best part: taxpayers didn't pay a cent for it. The airport was built using money from a group of private investors that include Citigroup and Aviation Facilities Co.

Although the airport's investors predict Branson will be a success, industry experts are skeptical the move will catch on, if it works at all. According to industry consultant Mike Boyd:

Branson Airport is not likely to be the vanguard of airport privatization. It's too hard disentangling existing airports from their government financial and legal tethers, and financial prospects at most airports probably aren't good enough to justify the risk.

In Branson's case, the local population is too small, and the region's attractions aren't sufficient to consistently generate sufficient traffic for profitable air service.

According to Steve Peet, Branson Airport CEO and one of the original investors, the key to success will be attracting low-cost air carriers whose clientele will be attracted to Branson's family-friendly environment and live music. Peet said that the airport's traffic will speak for itself:

If we're not handling 225,000 to 250,000 passengers a year three years down the road, then we'll be in a tough situation. But I don't think that's going to be the case.

Swine Flu: Some Good News for a Change

I'll cop to not believing in the power of swine flu. I mean, yes, it seems dangerous, but only so much in the sense that SARS was. But, I was starting to come around: that's what will happen to you if you're embedded in the media or the internet too much.

However, recent evidence from many scientists, as reported by Wired.com, appears to indicate at least some marginally good news.

[Their] findings fit the notion that more Mexicans are infected than was
originally thought, that severe cases represent a fraction of the outbreak, and
that mortality rates are lower than originally feared.

“If the calculations are correct,” said Slezak, “it’s indeed supportive of the other
data that seems to agree that this is not going to be a catastrophic
outbreak."

So, yeah. Not "catastrophic"!!!! Seriously, this is good news though; we've got everyone in the world freaking out about the swine flu, and to possibly hear that something (read: anything) "not horrible" might stem out of this piggy pandemic is a huge bonus. Carry on with your freakout.

Roman Catacombs in 3D [Video]

Catacombs are mysterious places where bodies reside and where only Indiana Jones dares explore. But recently, a team of 10 archaeologists, scientists, architects, and computer nerds have teamed together to create 3-D videos of the catacombs from laser scans. Yes, this sounds fake. No, it is not: witness the video below, from the BBC via Digg.

'Alien Skull' on Mars Is Stupidest Claim. Ever.

People routinely see Jesus in their macaroni and cheese. Or elsewhere. It's usually a pile of mularky, of course, but they see it. Just like scientists saw an "alien skull" on Mars recently. At least that's what they're saying, in very serious tones.

"There appears to be a narrow pointed small mouth, so this creature most likely
is a carnivore."

Another joked: "The coronal ridge shows ample structure to support the musculature of antennae, although none are visible in this view.

"The nose area is broad and blunted as you would expect to see in a cold and windy landscape. Is he decapitated or is he buried up to his neck?"

I mean, if they had anything remotely legitimate to claim as an "alien skull" and not a "deformed bowling ball" then there would be some serious debate. As it is, this particular phenomenon shouldn't even be up for discussion. Feel free to judge for yourself though, in the picture above.

Oh, in totally unrelated news, I lost my pet rock last week. Please call 1-800-555-DERP if you've seen it.