Thorpe Park in Britain Imposes 'Say No to BO,' Bans Waving Arms in Air on Rollercoasters

When people ride rollercoasters, they put their arms in the air. They then wave them wildly about and scream at the top of their lungs. It's what happens. But not at Thorpe Park, a British amusement park which has now banned any patrons from waving their arms, in order to reduce the amount of human odor being emitted by customers.

That's right. In order to reduce body odor, they're bringing out the fun police.

Park director Mike Vallis said: "When it tops 25C, the unpleasant smells can become unaccept-able and we receive complaints. Our rides are really scary and people sweat more than normal due to the fear and anticipation while queuing."

"We felt a ban in temperatures of 25C-plus would be the best way to ensure guests have the most enjoyable experience and aren't exposed to any unsavoury armpits."

Now, I don't care for rollercoasters and I don't live in Britain so this isn't a huge deal at all. But that doesn't make it any less ridiculous and stupid -- theme parks are the home of stinky people. They are a respite from the daily grind for the common man, and while I can't speak to this in Europe, in the US they are most certainly the home of the mesh tank top.

Additionally, when you pay XX.XX just to enter the park and then have to wait in line for three hours just to ride a single ride and then you have to pay more for drinks and food (provided you aren't cheap enough to drink the mist from the cooling sections), well, you should have the right to do whatever the hell you want with your arms, provided it doesn't cause any physical harm to other patrons.

And no, nasal damage does not count; in fact, once I inherit a million dollars and buy my own theme park, I'm going to make a rule that any cheeky little punk who complains to park adminstrators about the smell of another patron will be immediately beaten up, thrown out of the park and banned for life. Because, well, intolerance will not be tolerated.

There Will Be No More F***ing in the Village of F***ing

The village of Fucking in Austria (Quick disclaimer: I didn't name the village, okay? It's real. And it's travel news. So don't go calling me "vulgar" or "lacking class" or anything. At least I blurred the picture.) is fed up with the amount of sex that occurs within their awkwardly named confines.

After all, when you name a village the vulgar word for engaging in sexual activity, you have to assume that tourists will travel to said village to partake in intercourse in front of the sign for your village. Which is, naturally, exactly what tourists have been doing. So the village-folk are combating their actions by installing video cameras.

That's right -- a group of villagers in a obscenely (albeit only American, really) named area of the world are sick and tired of a bunch of voyeuristic tourists making that sweet, sweet love in front of their fence. And their answer is, again, installing video cameras.

Now, in case you missed the entire premise of this article, the people that the villagers are sick of WANT TO RECORD THEIR INTERCOURSE. They want to. So, unless you have a police officer ready to arrest these folks, these video cameras are going to be utterly and totally useless. Unless the village is trying to assemble the greatest collection of porn every known to man. Then, this is a good idea.

Gadling Via Digg

Japan Airlines Plane Snacks on Cargo Box

If you were an airplane, what would you eat? "Hot dog" or "bbq spare rib" come to mind immediately, but how about "a giant box of cargo?" Because that's exactly what a Japan Airlines Boeing 747 did late last night while attempting to take off from Los Angeles International Airport. There were 245 passengers on board, and fortunately nothing was hurt except for the plane's pride (this is the equivalent of your child having its head stuck in a chair at the local Chinese restaurant in the middle of a Sunday buffet with everyone in town there pointing and ... anyway, I digress.) Enjoy the video of the plane looking hungry and foolish.

Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg ... Is Shockingly Misspelled

Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg is a real place. For serious, it is. Just look at the picture above, where some guy is posing oddly in front of the lake's sign, which is misspelled, allegedly.

According to area locals anyway.

The Webster-Dudley-Oxford Chamber of Commerce’s board of directors has unanimously agreed to correct the spelling problems on the signs on Route 12 near Oxford and Route 193 near Thompson. 

The 45-letter name is misspelled, with an “o” where a “u” should be, at letter 20, and an “h” instead of “n” at letter 38. 

I mean, yeah. I suppose I could rant about the fact that you shouldn't name anything any name that included forty-five letters and how it's ironic that it's misspelled. But at this point, it seems a little obvious, no?

Man Tweets His Way Around the World

Twitter is taking off. Just ask Paul Smith.

The Brit, who apparently has a lot of free time on his hands, made his way around the world relying only on the tweets he sent to the 11,000 people who followed his journey.

His self-imposed golden rule was that he could only accept offers of travel and accommodation from people who use Twitter. Smith was also banned from making any travel plans more than three days in advance and has to leave each location within 48 hours of arriving.

Smith made it from his home in Newcastle-upon-Tyne to Stewart Island, New Zealand, in 30 days and visited the Netherlands, France, Germany and the U.S. And while stateside, he found time to hang with actress Liv Tyler.

It wasn't all fun and games, as you can read on the blog he kept, but it is impressively cool. Plus, the journey helped raise money for Charity: water, a non-profit that brings clean drinking water to developing nations.

Nerd Wants $1,000,000 From Airlines for Lost XBox

Jesse Maiman is on a mission. From God. Okay, not really. But he is on a mission to sue US Airways for $1 million.

Why? Because he thinks that some US Airways employee hijacked his Xbox out of his luggage when he was flying from New Haven, Connecticut (he's a student at Yale) to Cincinnati (presumably heading home.) And he filed suit against them Monday.

The suit seeks to have the airline pay him $1,700 for the loss of the gaming system and for "non-economic distress" of at least $25,000, but "in the maximum amount allowable by law or, in the alternative, in the sum of $1,000,000."

Let's be clear about a couple of things here. First, there is no way in hell that an XBox is worth one million dollars. Ever. Even if said XBox has "a specialized hard drive and components he said cost more than $1,000." 

Secondly, Mr. Maiman packed the XBox in his checked baggage. Anyone who has ever been near an airplane or a baggage conveyor belt knows that luggage handlers are not the most gentle people in the world. 

Thirdly, as Valerie Wunder, spokesperson for U.S. Airways put it, there are loss limits for each checked bag, currently set at $3,300. (And even that number is too high for an XBox.)

And finally, why on Earth was this kid taking his XBox home with him? Because it was Christmas break? And he was really hoping to get World of Warcraft: Harry Potter Edition? I understand that downtime at home is boring, but there's a reason that things like "the outdoors" and "friends" exist -- so 21 year old college students don't spend their entire Christmas break trying to shatter their personal record for ziltgans zapped in one 16 hour gaming span.

FareFinder Extra: JetBlue one-day sale is crazy good

JetBlue is always trying to stay ahead of the curve. Whether it's additional legroom, free Dunkin' Donuts coffee or the ability to check out ESPN on the TV at your seat, they're always looking to one-up the competition.

Now, for one day, they're doing it on price. And you better hurry, because that one day is to-day. Flights for March 10-April 1 (flying out Tuesdays or Wednesdays) are going for $29-$99 each way.

In all, 21 destinations -- including the New York City-area airports, Washington, D.C., Cancun, Las Vegas and San Diego -- with cheap-o airfare. For example, here are the flights from JFK that are one sale:

• $29* to Pittsburgh, PA (PIT), Portland, ME (PWM), Raleigh-Durham, NC (RDU), Richmond, VA (RIC), Rochester, NY (ROC) and Syracuse, NY (SYR);
  
  
• $59* to Fort Myers, FL (RSW), Orlando, FL (MCO), New Orleans, LA (MSY), Tampa Bay, FL (TPA), West Palm Beach, FL (PBI) and Long Beach, CA (LGB);
  
  
• $69* to Nassau, Bahamas (NAS), San Francisco, CA (SFO) and St. Maarten (SXM);
  
• $79* to Oakland, CA (OAK), Ponce, Puerto Rico (PSE), San Jose, CA (SJC) and San Juan, Puerto Rico (SJU);
  
  
• $89* to Chicago, IL (ORD), Las Vegas, NV (LAS), San Diego, CA (SAN), Salt Lake City, UT (SLC) and Seattle, WA (SEA);
  
  
• and $99* to Phoenix, AZ (PHX) and Puerto Plata, DR (POP).

So hurry -- you have until 11:59 p.m. MST today to book these deals.

Emergency Exits Shouldn't Be This Easy to Open

Emergency exits are a critical part of the pre-flight torture preparation for airline passengers. After all, in the event of an emergency, everyone should know that how to get off an airplane.

But at the same time, I'm not so sure I like the idea that anyone can just sprint to the airplane and pop one open. Lest you think they can't, listen to what happened on a Dallas-Fort Worth runway yesterday:

A 26-year-old passenger on board an American Airlines jet from Charlotte to Dallas opened a door and slid down an inflatable emergency chute Tuesday as the aircraft waited to taxi to its gate at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport.

The man, who had not been identified Tuesday night, reportedly ran into the first class section of American Airlines Flight 1343 and opened the exit door, according to an airport advisory. The plane, an MD-80, had just arrived from Charlotte/Douglas International Airport about 1 p.m. and was parked on a ramp when the incident happened.

Now, maybe he was trying to avoid unnecessary flight expenditures. Or perhaps he really had to go to the bathroom and just happens to be claustrophobic. 

But here's a different issue: how the mess is it possible to open an emergency exit that quickly? I mean, I totally understand why you want to be able to pop those suckers open (it is, after all, hopefully an emergency when they're being used) but I can't even get my car door open that quickly. That's mainly because it locks automatically when the car is moving at more than zero miles per hour. Which is something I might suggest for airlines to consider. 

Swedish Elk Can't Handle Their Alcohol

Sometimes we get some great updates from our correspondents out there. Like this one, from Sweden:

Drunken elks can be a serious road hazard in late fall. The animals feed on fallen apples and other fruits that have fermented, and a bull elk can pack quite a punch. Some "alco-elks" have been known to terrorize whole neighborhoods.

My first thought was, "This can't be THAT big of an issue, can it?" Then, I find this little nugget:

A drunken elk paid dearly after attacking a toddler playing in a sand pit at her home in Kungälv in western Sweden ... The dangerous beast had been spotted nearby on several occasions prior to the attack and returned to the area later that day in an apparent search for more apples. This time, however, local residents took no chances and a group of hunters shot the inebriated elk, putting an end to any further neighbourhood terror.

The lesson, as always? Always look out for drunk elk in Sweden. Obviously.

Netherlands Hotel Takes 'Crawling Into a Bottle' to a Whole New Level

There's an old phrase about getting really drunk that involves "crawling into a bottle." My favorite memory of that phrase comes from Blazing Saddles. Well, it used to, until I found out about the De Vrouwe van Stavoren Hotel.

See, the Stavoren is a hotel located in the Netherlands that has rooms made entirely from French wine casks. I kid you not.

Formerly filled with 14,500 liters of Beaujolais wine from the French chateau, each now holds a modest two-person room with standard amenities and even an attached bathroom and sitting room. Visitors from all around the world have traveled to the quaint northern port town of Stavoren to stay in one of these upcycled rooms.

General rates for a cask room are from 74-119 Euros a night with discounts of up to 75% off depending on season. If you go in the wintertime, a wine cask room can be as low as 18 Euros a night, cheaper than most hostels. Breakfast is included and you can even bring your dog.

Now, there's no guarantee that you'll suffer any sort of side effects (thankfully) from passing out falling asleep here, but the buzz it's generating is pretty tremendous. Added bonus: no hangover!

Australia Is Going to Pay Someone to Party and Blog for Living

Looking for a new job? Don't want to deal with pesky things like snow and hail? Willing to relocate to a lush tropical oasis? And get paid six figures to do so?

Queensland is looking for you.

The Australian state, home to the Great Barrier Reef and Brisbane, is looking for someone to fill "the best job in the world," according to Queensland's Acting Premier Paul Lucas. Here's the basic job description:

The successful applicant will live on Hamilton Island for six months and travel to other Islands of the Great Barrier Reef and report back on their adventures to a global audience via weekly blogs, photo diaries, video updates. They'll also have to talk to media from time to time about what they're doing so they can't be too shy and they'll have to love the sea, the sun, the outdoors.

Besides a crazy six-month salary of AUD $150,000 (US$158,000+), "the successful applicant would receive return airfares from the nearest capital city in their home country, accommodation on Hamilton Island, travel insurance for the contract period, computer, internet, digital video and stills camera access," according to Queensland Tourism Minister Desley Boyle .

Applications are being taken through February 22. More information can be found at the Tourism Queensland website.

Airlines Celebrate Two Years of Not Accidentally Killing Anyone

I'm not one to jinx a solid streak, but since CNN went ahead and mentioned it first, I'll just follow up by saying (and hand-pounding/golf-clapping anyone that wants the visual kudos as well) "WELL DONE" to all of the United States airlines for their hard work over the past two years.

It's a tough job not to kill anyone.

A single year without fatalities has occurred only four times since 1958, an analysis by the Air Transport Association found.

Thus, the two-year streak in 2007 and 2008 is all the more remarkable, considering that airlines ferried more than a billion passengers.

"That stellar record isn't something that came about by accident," David Castelveter, spokesman for the ATA industry group, told CNN.

Seriously. I'm not trying to make any mockery of death or airline issues (we're not that far from 2001, I suppose) but what does it say about your industry when you celebrate a two year run of "not accidentally killing anyone"? I'll tell you what it says: If you mess up and let anyone else die, you better repeal that $15/bag check-in charge. That's what it says.

EarthAlbum.com: The Coolest Thing You Will See in 2009

Technology is a wonderful thing. Combinations of the googles and the interwebbings have allowed people to write, talk, chat and video from anywhere in the world. And, share pictures. I don't do a lot of picture sharing, but Flickr is a pretty awesome site in terms of finding new, bizarre things to see.

And now, someone has taken Flickr and combined it with Google Maps/Earth to make Earth Album, which is, as noted in the title, the coolest thing you'll see all year.

Basically, here's how it works: you scroll around the map and find a country you want to see. You click on that country. Whatever part of the country you click on (i.e. the states or what-have-you) will generate pictures from that particular region.

North Carolina, for instance, showed me a picture of a giant cake shaped like a triple stack hamburger. Not technically that relevant to the region, but pretty darn close. And pretty darn cool. So, yeah, enjoy the rest of your week (it'll be spent there if you stop once, I guarantee).

Japanese guy loves Mexico a little too much

My wife absolutely hated The Terminal. I mean, she wanted to walk out of the movie when we went to see it. Apparently, Hiroshi Nohara loved the movie so much, he decided to live it.

Nohara (aka, guy who apparently doesn't have a job back home) has been parked in the Benito Juarez International Airport for the last two and a half months living off donations. Why, you may ask? Well, the answer doesn't reside with Nohara.

"I don't understand why I'm here," he said through a visiting interpreter originally hired by a television station. "I don't have a reason."

There are the obvious drawbacks of living life in a Mexico City airport terminal, but at least he could've squatted in Terminal 1, with its Dunkin' Donuts, Cinnabon, 7-Eleven and Burger King. I know I could probably survive at least 120 days on some DD coffee, Whoppers and Slushees. Oh well, at least he can munch on Papa John's and Sbarro in T2.

Image from AP

The Ellis Hotel in Atlanta Is Getting All 'Rowr' This Holiday Season

The holidays are a time of celebration. A time for caring and giving. A joyous occasion to celebrate various religious beliefs with your family. And they are also the time of Santa Clause. He brings presents to people, based on various levels of "naughty" and "nice".

But this year, thanks to a pretty foxy little Christmas package from the Ellis Hotel in Atlanta, you can totally circumvent your North Pole pal and pick your own classification.

The Naughty or Nice package covers accommodations in a king room and late checkout at 2 p.m.

In addition, if booking the Naughty plan (must request Naughty), the rate covers a bottle of champagne upon arrival, gingerbread massage oil and a $25 gift card to Victoria's Secret.

The Nice plan (must request Nice) covers hot cocoa and cookies upon arrival, a holiday music CD and a Hallmark holiday ornament.

Yes. It is in fact best called "aggressive". After all, nothing says overtly romantic quite like a bottle of "gingerbread massage oil" now does it? Personally, I'd say that the "Nice" package seems kind of, well, lame. Unless you're bringing like a platonic friend, which is waaaaay beyond awkward anyway.

Flight Attendent Casually Steps Up and Helps Steer Air Canada Flight Into Heathrow

You know how in the movies there's always some crazy scenario that ends up involving a pilot getting shot or having a heart attack, etc. and then another member of the crew or a passenger (usually Kurt Russell or a svelte Leslie Neilson type) steps up and helps to land the plane under hard-fought, miraculous circumstances?

Well, that's why movies are awesome, because that stuff never happens in real life. Except on an Air Canada flight, where the co-pilot had a nervous breakdown/psychotic meltdown and a flight attendant had to step in and help land that puppy.

The flight attendant was temporarily promoted to the cockpit after the captain of the Air Canada service ordered his colleague to be handcuffed and dragged from his seat.

The flight attendant, a qualified commercial pilot, came forward after the captain asked the 155 passengers and crew if there were any professional pilots onboard.

The unnamed attendant sat in the co-pilot's seat of the Boeing 767-333 jet as the Toronto to Heathrow service was diverted to Ireland's Shannon airport on January 28.

Now, obviously this didn't happen yesterday, but it's my understanding that the news is being revealed via the ongoing investigation by the Irish Air Accident Investigation Unit.

It's kind of amazing that all of this somehow managed to stay totally under the radar until now (I know I would have been flapping my gums about it), but still not nearly as amazing as this scenario actually going down in real life. The lesson, of course, is that Air Canada's service is second only to Ryanair's.

Via Digg