Some Airlines to Begin Adding First-Class Airbags in the Fall

Here's a crazy idea: come October 27, some airlines will begin adding airbags. On the surface, this seems pretty logical; after all, airbags have proven themselves as a beneficial safety feature in cars and, hey, who wouldn't like to feel a little bit safer when traveling 30,000 feet above the ground?

Of course, as always with airlines, there's a catch. Or two.

Starting this fall, all new airplanes will be required to have seats that will stay in place when subjected to stresses up to 16 times the force of gravity. The old seats had to meet stresses of only nine times the force of gravity. And, in a safety measure borrowed from automobiles, some seats will be equipped with air bags.

[...] The new rules have taken effect gradually. Airplane models introduced after 1988 were required to have the new seats, known as “16g” seats. So planes like the Boeing 777 and the swarm of new regional jets all have them. But older models that were still in production were not required to have the seats.

Of course, that's not the best catch of all, though! What's not mentioned in my selection of blockquotes from the Times article is that these airbags are going to be -- if I understand everything correctly -- implemented in first-class seats only.

Which is awesome, obviously. Why? Because people with more money deserve to be safer than anyone else. Or, alternately, not at all -- the really impressive thing would be for the airlines to just pony up and start making all the seats in all the airlines more safe ... since, you know, everyone's supposed to be equal and what-not.

And don't get me wrong -- I understand the inherent problem here: airbags in airplanes aren't going to keep people from dying 90% of the time. When you crash from six miles in the air, you die most of the time, regardless of an inflatable bag opening up in your face. But in terms of skids off the runway and "smaller" crashes, this is a fantastic idea. It's just too bad it won't help anyone but the rich people.

Dave Carroll's 'United Breaks Guitars' Music Video Is a Huge Hit

Normally, airlines can get away with treating customers like crap. Why? It's the 800-pound gorilla thing. Or the capitalistic thing. But every now and then, when someone like, hypothetically, United Airlines breaks, say, Dave Carroll's Taylor Guitar, the little man fights back. That's exactly what Dave Carroll did with his freaking awesome "United Breaks Guitars" song. And it's only Part 1 -- with over 120,000 views so far on YouTube, one would think United might be shopping for some six-stringers right now.

Air New Zealand's 'Bare Essentials' Campaign Is Just Awkward

Everyone wants to be viral these days. So you can imagine a bunch of Air New Zealand PR folks sitting around a conference room, tapping their pencils, pounding Bud Light Foster's and thinking, "How can we go viral?" Naturally, the answer is the "Bare Essentials" campaign, which involves the basic tenants of air safety ... only it's made HILARIOUS by the fact that these attendants have their uniforms painted on. One problem: this is only sexy when it happens in the SI Swimsuit issue. The idea of having my knee jacked by the drink cart, wincing and then looking as an attendant walks past me only this time there's NO uniform involved, well, color me shuddered.

Airlines Set to Charge You for Not Checking Bags Online

Checked bag fees are, quite arguably, the devil. There's nothing more irritating in my mind: how can you rationally travel somewhere without taking bags? Exactly. And so, airlines, in my humble opinion, are taking advantage of folks by charging for checked bags.

A few of the airlines have decided to actually increase that too, according to Budget Travel, tacking on $5 fees for folks that don't check their bags before they get to the airport.

That's right. More baggage fees! United and US Airways are the big culprits here, too, because they already charge $15 for the first bag and $25 for the second ... now, if you pay those fees at the airport, they will charge you an additional $5. (Yes, it's very much like rebooking at the terminal -- for whatever reason, they want to charge you and additional $15.)

But are there other airlines instituting similar policies? Of course there are! Delta and Northwest will begin charging an additional $50 for a second checked bag on international flights (which I wouldn't really have a problem with, save the fact that you almost always need two bags when traveling to another frigging country). And Alaska Air will charge $15 for the first checked bag. I have no problem with this, since I don't go to Alaska. Although I'm sure Alaskan travelers may have some beef, since you dont' exactly take day trips up there.

The long and short here is that you're always, always, always smarter to just carry-on two bags when possible (and to pack accordingly, obviously) but the reality is that a lot of people simply can't manage to get all their stuff in that amount of space.

And while it's nice to see the airlines "stimulating the economy" by "trying not to go bankrupt," I'll be honest -- at some point, these baggage fees are going to send enough people far enough over the top where we score a giant boycott and dump all the tea in the ocean. Or something.

Airline Service Improves Slightly, Fliers Agree

According to recent consumer research, airline service has gotten better over the last several months. Although the numbers aren't dramatic, it's important to note that the improved passenger experience is in spite of additional airline fees for second bags, snacks and much more.

The airline business scored 64 out of 100 in the first quarter of this year, a 3.2% increase over the same period a year ago, according to the American Customer Satisfaction Index, which randomly surveyed thousands of consumers across the U.S. Major carriers saw improved scores, or at least no decline.

Despite the fact that airlines managed to break even or improve slightly in customer satisfaction, their overall performance is relatively dismal.

Airlines were still among the lowest-scoring businesses in the index, which measured customer satisfaction with the products or services of hotels, restaurants and 14 other sectors. Full-service restaurants scored highest at 84. Airlines scored far below their own index high of 72, achieved in 1994.

Since it's graduation season, let's use an educational metaphor... that means that at their very best in 1994, fliers still gave airlines a C minus (on the 10-point scale). That makes their current "64 out of 100" a solid 'D'. But even that disappointing review may have given them too much credit.

"It certainly looks like most of these increases, if not all, are due to lower passenger load," says Claes Fornell, professor of business at the University of Michigan and index founder, noting that the recession has kept many Americans from traveling.

To continue the metaphor from earlier, airlines would have completely failed the service test, but there was a big enough curve for them to squeak by with a D.

Now to be fair, airline satisfaction will never be as high as it will for full-service restaurants. The reasons are obvious... having a well prepared meal will always be more enjoyable than spending five hours trying to sleep against a bulkhead. Not to mention security. When was the last time you had to walk through a metal detector to eat at a five star restaurant? Yet, security is a much needed aspect of air travel.

Despite all the "necessary evils" that plague air travel, there are still plenty of ways airlines could easily improve customer satisfaction and flier experience. If you need a good example, look no further than Dustin Curtis' excellent critique and redesign of American Airlines' homepage.

United States Airlines Collect $1.1 BILLION in Extra Baggage Fees in 2008

Bag checking is a dirty industry. There's no two ways about it -- if you're charging your consumer extra cash to bring their stuff with them then you shouldn't sleep at night. But it's not just a dirty industry ... it's also a billion dollar industry.

That's right -- US air carriers pocketed an absolutely obscene $1.1 BILLION in extra baggage fees in the 2008 year.

American Airlines led the way, earning $278 million in extra profit for checked baggage, with US Airways and Delta (not that) close behind at $187.1 and $177.1 million, respectively.

Of course, many economy-minded folks argue that it's wholly necessary for the airlines to charge these baggage fees; after all, they're facing a tough financial situation and need to recoup the losses incurred over the past 12 months.

I'm cool with that -- and to an extent, I don't think luggage charges are bad. My problem is that too often, airlines are charging for "standard" luggage. Southwest, for instance, allows two checked bags. That's "standard." If you're going on a trip for any reasonable length, you need to bags most of the time. Forcing people to pay simply to check reasonable amounts of luggage is just too aggressive for my tastes, even if it's worth a billion dollars.

Airlines Eye New Seats to Save Weight, Accidentally Satisfy Passengers

While the current economic crisis has left countless people jobless or underwater with worthless mortgages, there is one group that may benefit from the downturn: air travelers.

Generally speaking, money (whether high in the black or deep in the red) is the main driver behind change in a business. Fortunately for air travelers, they may get to reap a few unexpected benefits. To cut costs in these trying times, airlines have begun exploring new seat designs.

Currently, airline seats weigh between 24 and 33 pounds a piece and sport backs that are roughly 3 inches thick. New seat designs aim to reduce costs by reducing weight and potentially, allowing more seats to fit on each plane.

Thankfully for airline passengers, there could be unexpected benefits to the new designs. Nearly all new seat models offer more personal space and they accomplish it in a variety of ways. Some include better footrests, some have a hard shell back that never moves and floating cushions that slide down and forwards when the passenger reclines.

Perhaps the most creative concept are the staggered seats (shown above) by Thompson Aero Seating. The unique design eliminates the competition for elbow and shoulder room without reducing the number of seats. Even the most economical of the new seats, a slender 20-pound model made for short haul flights, still offers 4 and a 1/2 extra inches of shin and leg room compared to current economy seating.

The bottom line: airlines have finally found a way to save money that doesn't involve an extra charge, and they may improve passenger experience in the process.

Japan Airlines Plane Snacks on Cargo Box

If you were an airplane, what would you eat? "Hot dog" or "bbq spare rib" come to mind immediately, but how about "a giant box of cargo?" Because that's exactly what a Japan Airlines Boeing 747 did late last night while attempting to take off from Los Angeles International Airport. There were 245 passengers on board, and fortunately nothing was hurt except for the plane's pride (this is the equivalent of your child having its head stuck in a chair at the local Chinese restaurant in the middle of a Sunday buffet with everyone in town there pointing and ... anyway, I digress.) Enjoy the video of the plane looking hungry and foolish.

easyJet Wants to Really Open Up the Mile-High Club

"I now pronouce you ..."

People get married in odd places (underwater, Las Vegas chapels, haunted houses, funeral homes, etc.) all the time. Go ahead and add "30,000 feet in the air" to that list, because easyJet has requested permission to hold wedding ceremonies on airplanes.

"If our request is replied positively, then so called 'floating on cloud nine' would get a new meaning for people in love - and we can offer another special service to our passengers."

[...]EasyJet captain Jeffery Husson added: "To officiate a wedding is a special honour for me.

"It would be exciting if I could marry couples above the clouds."

It would also be awkward if no one was flying the plane too, Cap. Of course it would make more sense (logically speaking) to have an actual ordained minister performing these rituals. But fiscally, I suppose a guy trained to fly an airplane will suffice in administering the holiest of vows.

Of course, there's one key issues here: where do the folks go for the honeymoon? The restroom seems the only logical place and, well, that's just awkward. Actually there are probably more, but I suppose when you concede to getting married by an airplane pilot, that's just one of the things you prepare for.

Delta Has an Idea to Generate Revenue: More Bag Charges!

Bag charges. They're the worst. But here's some even more annoying news: they're going up!

Yes, that's right. Delta has decided that people traveling a really long way shouldn't be able to pack more than one bag for anything other than highway robbery, as they've raised their "second bag price" on international flights to a whopping $50.

Effective today, for international travel beginning July 1, Delta will charge customers a $50 fee to check a second bag, which the company expects to generate more than $100 million annually.

Well, goodie for Delta, who will make a ton of money. The downside: this is, um, not awesome news for consumers. The airline may have posted huge losses recently, but that's still not an excuse to seek awkwardly aggressive methods of charging consumers in an attempt to recoup some money. They're better off doing something counter intuitive like giving out free peanuts. I'd buy more airplane tickets.

Chubby Flier Rules Now in Effect at United

In Canada, obese people, or "fatties" if you will, are given the privilege an additional seat for the price of one, if they simply cannot fit in one seat. That won't be the case with anyone flying United Airlines though, because the company announced late last week that obese folks are required to buy a second ticket.

There's literally zero chance this doesn't a) end up in a court or b) cause some sort of really awkward domestic disturbance. Why? Just listen to the procedure.

As of Wednesday, passengers too large to fit comfortably in a coach seat may be required to buy a second ticket or upgrade to business class, where seats are larger -- if United's flight attendants can't find two open seats for them.

In other words, yes, this encounter could occur after said large person is on the plane, which is just beginning for a scene from Meet the Parents, only ... bigger. OR, alternately, a flight attendant could stop a large person on their way into the plane and ask them to purchase an additional ticket, only to have that person explain they're not that fat. (Hilarity/debate ensues, obviously.)

Personally, I'm fine with this policy. While it may seem somewhat discriminatory, it's a total and utter nightmare to end up sitting next to someone who does need two seats, and it's just an unfair way to spend a flight ... whereas having TWO seats is secretly kind of awesome.

Pet Airways: For People With Awesome Priorities!

This week in completely unrealistic business models, co-founders Dan Wiesel and Alysa Binder announce the launch of Pet Airways: an airline dedicated completely to transporting people's pets between major cities.

Traditionally, pets are transported in carriers in a plane's cargo hold. But according to Wiesel, the experience can be an unpleasant one:

The experience is frightening to the pets, and can cause severe emotional and physical harm, even death. This is not what most pet owners want to subject their pets to, but they have had no other choice, until now.

Pets, or "Pawsengers" will fly in the main compartment of a turboprop plane and be attended to by caring workers. According to the airline's website, attendants will be within "a cat's meow" at all times.

The inaugural flight is slated for July 14th and the airline will serve New York, Washington DC, Chicago, Los Angeles and Denver.

Pet Airways is going to be a success for several reasons:

(1) Who doesn't have enough money hanging around to fly their pet on it's own f***ing airline?

(2) These people's priorities are top-notch and they've got the business savvy to match. Right now is the perfect time to start a pointless, extravagant service that no one really needs.

(3) It sends a positive message to the world that help is on the way! If Americans are willing to fly their cats and dogs on their own special plane, it's just a matter of time before all human beings have access to clean water and basic health care.

FareFinder: Thursday, April 16

Get ready to cruise: Carnival Cruise Lines' 72-hour Summer Sale is going on now, which offers a free stateroom upgrade plus up to $240 on board credit with select bookings. Oh yeah, 3-4 day Baja Mexico cruises start at $209 a person.

Piggy-backing on Tuesday's post, Southwest has started selling its Boston (Logan) flights, which take off in August. The airline will fly Boston to Baltimore/Washington and Chicago (Midway).

Between May 1 and July 31, 2009, the Starwood Preferred Guests' Free Weekends promotion lets any new or existing SPG member earn one Free Weekend Night Award after every two stays. Redeem awards any Friday, Saturday or Sunday through the end of September with no blackouts.

JetBlue is now offering frequent flyer miles for you and your pets. Thanks to Jaunted for the heads up.

Virgin Atlantic Launches PitchTV

Sir Richard Branson's airline, Virgin Atlantic, recently announced its new spin on in-flight entertainment.

Called PitchTV, the new in-flight programming will feature video pitches from various entrepreneurs.

As of now only five ads have been selected, but other would-be Bransons can upload their videos online and those that receive the most votes will be added to the circulation aboard Virgin Atlantic flights.

Reactions to the move have been mixed, with some speculating on the wisdom of giving entrepreneurial-master Richard Branson access to budding ideas and business plans. Personally, I just can't wait for the next red-eye to Heathrow when I'm treated to 6 hours of Oxiclean, Dual-Action Cleanse and the Magic Bullet.

Justin Timberlake Gives Southwest Accidental Advertising

When we think of celebrities traveling, we think of giant private jets, stretch limousines, and hovercrafts. They are, after all, celebrities, so why would they ever roll with the common folk?

Justin Timberlake made an exception of this rule recently, as found by TMZ (via Jaunted), when he hopped aboard a Southwest Airlines flight from Burbank to Las Vegas ... coach style!

According to a TMZ spy who happened to be on the same flight, JT and his
bodyguard were allowed to board the plane first -- but somehow the massive bodyguard got stuck in the dreaded middle seat anyway. We're told the bodyguard tried to shoo away a passenger who asked for an autograph after the flight, but Justin happily signed anyway.

Um, yeah, "surprising" doesn't do this revelation justice -- Timberlake's one of the most recognizable celebs in the entire universe, and it's completely shocking that he only got one signature request.

The real thing to focus on here, though, is that Southwest should be jumping all over Timberlake for advertising; I would think that normal folks would be 150% more likely to purchase a Southwest flight out of Burbank (or in/out of Las Vegas) if they thought there was a chance for a celebrity sighting, and Timberlake could pick up some free tickets in the process. Or, you know, enough money to avoid flying coach next time.

Photo via TMZ

Man in Hurry for Bathroom on Delta Flight Charged With Felony Assault

There's nothing worse than needing to go to the bathroom on an airplane, standing up, and seeing the dreaded drink cart/stewardess combo staring back at you. There's no other recourse than to return to your seat, cross your legs and wait it out. Unless you're Joao Correa of Concord, Ohio.

Joao Correa of Concord, Ohio, says he had a bathroom emergency but his path was blocked by a beverage cart during the March 28 flight from Honduras to Atlanta. He asked if he could use the lavatory in business class, but was told no.

[...]Authorities say the 43-year-old man is accused of pulling and twisting the flight attendant's arm. He was arrested when the plane landed in Atlanta and charged with assault.

Right off the bat, I'll go ahead and say it: I feel bad for this guy. There's nothing more terrifying than having a "natural urge" (read: bowel movement) than on an airplane flight. Typically, there's some turbulence or a long line or just the awkwardness of having to hit someone's head with your rear end as you're semi-sprinting down the isle.

But with that drink cart and an unruly stewardess and the panic that sets in, well, I can kind of see why he freaked out. At the same time though, if Meet the Parents taught us anything, it's that you don't ever get angry with a flight attendant. It just doesn't work out well for anyone.

Airlines Getting Better Report Finds

Airline performance is at a four-year high according to a recent study by private researchers. The study, which is based on government statistics, examines factors like the timeliness of flights, number of lost bags, and the percentage of passengers who file complaints to determine overall quality.

Of the 17 airlines researched, Hawaiian Airlines took first place, followed by Airtran Airways and Jet Blue. American, Continental, Delta and United were all in the middle with regional airlines filling out the bottom third.

The study found consumer complaints dipped from 1.42 per 100,000 passengers in 2007 to 1.15 in 2008. Southwest Airlines had the best rate, only 0.25 complaints per 100,000 passengers; US Airways had the worst rate, 2.25.

The average on-time performance last year was 3 percentage points better than the year before, yet nearly one-quarter of all flights were late. The study said 12 airlines improved from the previous year, but only three airlines had better than an 80% on-time rate: Hawaiian, 90%; Southwest, 80.5%; and US Airways, 80.1%.

American, the nation's largest air carrier as measured by passengers flown the most miles, had the worst record, arriving on time only 69.8% of the time.

Although airlines have made strides to improve customer experience, the reduced number of travelers has had the most significant impact in reducing lost bags and bumped ticket-holders. Aviation experts say the world's air transport system had reached capacity in 2007 (the year airlines did the worst in this study) and now, due to decreased travelers, things are starting to improve.

Dean Headley, aviation expert and co-author of the study argues that now's the to improve our air transportation system.

He urged Congress to take advantage of this "breathing room" to move forward on a system that would replace decades-old radar technology with satellite-based technology.

That new system is forecast to increase air transportation system capacity by enabling planes to fly closer together and more directly to their destinations, saving time and fuel.

"It's crazy to think we can keep going the way we were going with the volume of planes we have in the air," Headley said.

Emergency Exits Shouldn't Be This Easy to Open

Emergency exits are a critical part of the pre-flight torture preparation for airline passengers. After all, in the event of an emergency, everyone should know that how to get off an airplane.

But at the same time, I'm not so sure I like the idea that anyone can just sprint to the airplane and pop one open. Lest you think they can't, listen to what happened on a Dallas-Fort Worth runway yesterday:

A 26-year-old passenger on board an American Airlines jet from Charlotte to Dallas opened a door and slid down an inflatable emergency chute Tuesday as the aircraft waited to taxi to its gate at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport.

The man, who had not been identified Tuesday night, reportedly ran into the first class section of American Airlines Flight 1343 and opened the exit door, according to an airport advisory. The plane, an MD-80, had just arrived from Charlotte/Douglas International Airport about 1 p.m. and was parked on a ramp when the incident happened.

Now, maybe he was trying to avoid unnecessary flight expenditures. Or perhaps he really had to go to the bathroom and just happens to be claustrophobic. 

But here's a different issue: how the mess is it possible to open an emergency exit that quickly? I mean, I totally understand why you want to be able to pop those suckers open (it is, after all, hopefully an emergency when they're being used) but I can't even get my car door open that quickly. That's mainly because it locks automatically when the car is moving at more than zero miles per hour. Which is something I might suggest for airlines to consider. 

Feel Free to Laugh at Ryanair's Expense

Ryanair is, by at least any symmetric of rough mathematics, the leader in the clubhouse for "Most Unbelievably Ridiculous Behavior by a Corporation," 2009, medium-business section. That's because they first had their employees pose for a swimsuit calendar, then they attacked bloggers, then they debated charging for customers to use the bathroom and now plan on eliminating check-in counters (although that last one might actually be good.) So, from Gizmodo, we present this cartoon:

Ryanair Charges for Bathrooms, Eliminates Check-In Counters

Ryanair just can't stay out of the news. The discount airline made headlines earlier this week when it publicly lambasted a blogger for pointing out a flaw in their website's design. While they were at it, they decided to lump all bloggers into a collective group, kindly referred to as "lunatics."

More negative publicity followed as the Irish airline announced that it was considering charging passengers to use the bathroom.

Ryanair could begin charging passengers to use the toilet. That's direct from the mouth of Ryanair CEO Michael O'Leary, who made the comments this morning to BBC television. "One thing we have looked at in the past and are looking at again is the possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door so that people might actually have to spend a pound (about $1.43) to spend a penny in future."

Many industry experts have wondered if the move would backfire for Ryanair. According to British Aviation officials, there is currently no legislation mandating toilets be available on board aircraft, so if the airline does decide to include one, they can rightfully charge for its use.

Ryanair's most recent announcement concerns airport check-in counters. The discount carrier will eliminate all check-in counters by the end of 2009.

The Dublin-based discount carrier plans to get rid of its ticket counters, shifting some of those employees to staff drop-off stations for passengers' checked bags. Ryanair has released few details of exactly how the ticket counter elimination would work, but CEO Michael O'Leary told the Daily Telegraph that the airline ultimately wants only 20% of its passengers to check bags.

It's unclear yet how passengers would respond to the move. Thus far, no airline has ever eliminated 100% of its check-in counters. Although self-service has been a growing trend in many industries, especially air travel, many remain skeptical that Ryanair will be able to make it work.

Despite the numerous headlines and incredulous responses to pay-toilets, blog-hating and mandatory self check-in, no one should really be surprised. Ryanair has a history of taking a different approach than other airlines. For proof of Ryanair's independent-thinking, look no further than their Calendar of Scantily Clad Flight Attendants (hey, at least it was for charity).