US Airways Flight Diverted After Passenger Strips Naked and Goes Crazy Mid Flight

US Airways Flight 705, en route from Charlotte to Los Angeles, was diverted to New Mexico earlier this afternoon when a passenger stripped naked mid-flight and became "unruly" according to KRQE-TV.

The male passenger apparently removed all his clothes and began to run around the cabin naked; other passengers aboard the plane "helped to restrain the man until the plane could land."

Now, call me crazy or stupid or homophobic even, but if a dude strips totally naked and starts running around a plane I'm on, there's no chance I'm playing the Steven Seagal role. Or even the Kurt Russell "I'm kind of tough enough to save a plane but no one really believes" it role.

No sir-e-bob: I'm playing the Oliver Platt role which generally entails running to the bathroom and locking the door. Because, honestly folks, if a guy is naked, he poses no real threat (he's not a terrorist, clearly, and you can actually see that he has no weapons on his person, right?) to my immediate safety other than permanently harming my retinas.

So my advice to you: don't play the hero when some dude decides to eat an ounce of mushrooms (what? you have a better explanation?) before he hops on a six hour plane ride and then wigs out with only about an hour left on the ride and decides that clothes just became optional.

And yes, I can make these jokes because everyone is safe, the streaker is in FBI custody and the plane kept on moving to Los Angeles.