United Christmas Bonus Never Going to Happen

United Airlines recently announced its intention to spread some extra Christmas cheer for hard-working employees this holiday season. The airline says it will give a US$100 bonus to most of its union-represented workers ...if... United tops the month's rankings of on-time performance. If the airline only comes in second place, or meets its self-stated goal, then those same workers may receive a US$65 dollar bonus. One recent article provides the fine print for this holiday agreement:

The airline was ranked 10th in October, 17th in September and 15th in August for on-time performance. United was next-to-last for the 12 months ended in October 2008.

It really fills the heart with cheer to see a company offering Christmas bonuses despite a struggling economy. Unfortunately for all those workers, actually getting the bonus will require a Christmas miracle of Jimmy Stewart proportions.

With no real bonus in sight, and a struggling airline trying to improve it's "on-time" ranking, who really wins? The travelers of course. In the process of not ever giving out these bonuses, United may accidentally get you to your holiday destination on time. Merry Christmas.