Chubby Flier Rules Now in Effect at United

In Canada, obese people, or "fatties" if you will, are given the privilege an additional seat for the price of one, if they simply cannot fit in one seat. That won't be the case with anyone flying United Airlines though, because the company announced late last week that obese folks are required to buy a second ticket.

There's literally zero chance this doesn't a) end up in a court or b) cause some sort of really awkward domestic disturbance. Why? Just listen to the procedure.

As of Wednesday, passengers too large to fit comfortably in a coach seat may be required to buy a second ticket or upgrade to business class, where seats are larger -- if United's flight attendants can't find two open seats for them.

In other words, yes, this encounter could occur after said large person is on the plane, which is just beginning for a scene from Meet the Parents, only ... bigger. OR, alternately, a flight attendant could stop a large person on their way into the plane and ask them to purchase an additional ticket, only to have that person explain they're not that fat. (Hilarity/debate ensues, obviously.)

Personally, I'm fine with this policy. While it may seem somewhat discriminatory, it's a total and utter nightmare to end up sitting next to someone who does need two seats, and it's just an unfair way to spend a flight ... whereas having TWO seats is secretly kind of awesome.

Canadian Courts Respect the Rights of, um, Heavier Folks

Canadian courts instituted a ruling last week that could have long ranging effects on the world of travel. Specifically, they decided that people of a heavier nature who decided to travel on airplanes were worthy of two seats ... for the price of one.

Obese people have the right to two seats for the price of one on flights within Canada, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled on Thursday.

The high court declined to hear an appeal by Canadian airlines of a decision by the Canadian Transportation Agency that people who are "functionally disabled by obesity" deserve to have two seats for one fare.

My initial reaction to this was "Poppycock!" Because, frankly, it's a fun word to say. Well, that and I don't like obesity being declared a disability when it's something that's relatively controllable. Also, I don't like it when people get free stuff and I'm not included, especially when I would always love to have two seats on an airplane.

But then I thought back to the last time I sat next to a heavy person on an airplane -- I was window, she was in the middle, and let's just say that I wasn't really ever able to get comfortable while flying. Had the young lady next to me been given an additional seat, per Canadian law, we would have avoided by iPod being squished, all of the awkward glares, me smelling Cheetos at 2 in the morning and I would have actually gotten some sleep.

So, hurray Canada. And your chubby laws.