United Breaks Guitars Part Two

Dave Carroll returned to YouTube and viral fame this past week with his second installment of "United Breaks Guitars." This follows on the heels of a disputed "apology" from United Airlines (they only acted sorry AFTER Carroll's video went huge on these here interwebz) and a donation to a charity where, if I understand correctly, one of the main UA execs is on the board. So, awkward. Hence, part two, which has a little more Lyle Lovett and his big band feel to it. And which I love.

Dave Carroll's 'United Breaks Guitars' Music Video Is a Huge Hit

Normally, airlines can get away with treating customers like crap. Why? It's the 800-pound gorilla thing. Or the capitalistic thing. But every now and then, when someone like, hypothetically, United Airlines breaks, say, Dave Carroll's Taylor Guitar, the little man fights back. That's exactly what Dave Carroll did with his freaking awesome "United Breaks Guitars" song. And it's only Part 1 -- with over 120,000 views so far on YouTube, one would think United might be shopping for some six-stringers right now.

Airlines Set to Charge You for Not Checking Bags Online

Checked bag fees are, quite arguably, the devil. There's nothing more irritating in my mind: how can you rationally travel somewhere without taking bags? Exactly. And so, airlines, in my humble opinion, are taking advantage of folks by charging for checked bags.

A few of the airlines have decided to actually increase that too, according to Budget Travel, tacking on $5 fees for folks that don't check their bags before they get to the airport.

That's right. More baggage fees! United and US Airways are the big culprits here, too, because they already charge $15 for the first bag and $25 for the second ... now, if you pay those fees at the airport, they will charge you an additional $5. (Yes, it's very much like rebooking at the terminal -- for whatever reason, they want to charge you and additional $15.)

But are there other airlines instituting similar policies? Of course there are! Delta and Northwest will begin charging an additional $50 for a second checked bag on international flights (which I wouldn't really have a problem with, save the fact that you almost always need two bags when traveling to another frigging country). And Alaska Air will charge $15 for the first checked bag. I have no problem with this, since I don't go to Alaska. Although I'm sure Alaskan travelers may have some beef, since you dont' exactly take day trips up there.

The long and short here is that you're always, always, always smarter to just carry-on two bags when possible (and to pack accordingly, obviously) but the reality is that a lot of people simply can't manage to get all their stuff in that amount of space.

And while it's nice to see the airlines "stimulating the economy" by "trying not to go bankrupt," I'll be honest -- at some point, these baggage fees are going to send enough people far enough over the top where we score a giant boycott and dump all the tea in the ocean. Or something.

Chubby Flier Rules Now in Effect at United

In Canada, obese people, or "fatties" if you will, are given the privilege an additional seat for the price of one, if they simply cannot fit in one seat. That won't be the case with anyone flying United Airlines though, because the company announced late last week that obese folks are required to buy a second ticket.

There's literally zero chance this doesn't a) end up in a court or b) cause some sort of really awkward domestic disturbance. Why? Just listen to the procedure.

As of Wednesday, passengers too large to fit comfortably in a coach seat may be required to buy a second ticket or upgrade to business class, where seats are larger -- if United's flight attendants can't find two open seats for them.

In other words, yes, this encounter could occur after said large person is on the plane, which is just beginning for a scene from Meet the Parents, only ... bigger. OR, alternately, a flight attendant could stop a large person on their way into the plane and ask them to purchase an additional ticket, only to have that person explain they're not that fat. (Hilarity/debate ensues, obviously.)

Personally, I'm fine with this policy. While it may seem somewhat discriminatory, it's a total and utter nightmare to end up sitting next to someone who does need two seats, and it's just an unfair way to spend a flight ... whereas having TWO seats is secretly kind of awesome.

United and Marriott Team Up for Travel Deal

Thanks to the wonderful world of Twitter (you can follow me here or PTG here) and @MarriottIntl (easily one of the best corporate twitter accounts ever), I was able to find out about the following deal, in which United Airlines and Marriott are teaming up to help people save money on traveling. 

Exciting, no? Anyway, the gist of the whole thing is that if you book a select United Flight by April 5, you get 20% select Marriott hotel reservations. Now, obviously, there are catches to the whole deal, but if the travel works out for you, then, well, it can be a great combo. 

Said catches appear to be: "Travel is valid on Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday" (meh), "14 day advance purchase is required," "3 night, Friday night or Saturday night minimum stay is required" and travel must be completed by June 17, 2009.

The nice thing is that most of the fares are ridiculously low (you can view them here and purchase as well), with especially cheap flights out of Chicago. I need a late May flight from Charlotte to Dallas, so this doesn't really serve me well (~$300.00 is what I'm staring at) but for someone who just had a business trip to a major city spring up, this is pretty freaking ideal.

Also, this isn't necessarily something brand new, as Marriott and United are already partners, but if you're in either of the mileage/reward clubs, this would work out quite nicely.

Scope the deals here.

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FareFinder Extra: Summer price wars beginning early

It's no secret that the airline industry is hurting for business. More and more airlines are slashing prices and offering weekly specials and Web fares.

Now, according to the Associated Press, Atlanta-based AirTran Airways is about to jump-start a price war that will give consumers even more of a reason to fly:

In a sign of great uncertainty about demand for air travel this year amid the deep U.S. recession, discount carrier AirTran Airways launched a fare sale to all its destinations Tuesday for flights through the middle of the fall. ... AirTran, a unit of Orlando, Fla.-based AirTran Holdings Inc., said its sale fares, starting as low as $39 one-way, are available for purchase through March 5 for travel through Nov. 4. The biggest discounts are for travel on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

According to the story, American, Continental, United, US Airways and Delta "quickly matched on routes where they compete with AirTran, and JetBlue said it would do the same."

Coupled with deep discounts from hoteliers, cruise lines and other industry services, there might not be a better time to travel.

United Flight Crew Allegedly Calls Coach Passengers "IDIOTS"

The first rule of being a flight attendent isn't even: "be polite." I think we all know that too well. The first rule is "don't ever call anyone on your plane an 'idiot.'"

Well, according to the Consumerist and reader Nicholas, the flight crew of United Airlines flight 941 from Chicago to Denver did just that.

[...]I am a frequent business traveler. I was on United flight 941 from Chicago to Denver. On takeoff and landing I always listen to the cockpit communications. Hearing the dulcet tones of the pilot helps ease some of my flying nervousness. During flight 941 I didn't hear anything from the cockpit during takeoff and once we were in the air I heard something odd on the cockpit communications channel. It appeared I was hearing the flight attendants communications. I could see them talking on the phone near the bulkhead and I could hear it on the cockpit channel. Most of the conversation was fairly innocuous but when it was time to serve drinks I heard: "We start on drinks for the IDIOTS in coach". It was at that point one of my fellow passengers let them know we could hear what they were saying. They stopped using the communications system and offered no apology.

I've sent the story to United and surprise… no response.

Here's the thing. It's not always personal when something like this happens. Just because it does once doesn't mean that stewards and stewardesses don[t care for the vast majority of people who happen to pay for his/her income. And it doesn't mean that they don't secretly love anyone who doesn't want to waste the extra $300 to sit in a bigger seat and get a hot towel. 

But United, presuming that Nicholas' email is accurate, needs to do something to address this issue, because, as it stands now, they're kind of getting away with it. One has to wonder how long that will last if it gets national attention.

Consumer Upgrade News: Continental Trades a Star for its ‘Team

Ramsey Qubein is Travelin' Light's on-the-road correspondent.

When Continental Airlines announced months ago that it was planning on a major switch from the SkyTeam alliance to Star Alliance, a breakup date remained unannounced. Well, the light is at the end of the tunnel. Continental will exit the Delta/Northwest-led alliance on October 24 with plans to join the much larger United-led Star Alliance shortly thereafter.

The importance of this announcement to travelers is larger than it seems. Delta and Northwest frequent fliers looking to redeem miles on Continental’s large international network (and its elite set of partners, which includes Emirates and Virgin Atlantic) should make award reservations before the Oct. 24 deadline. And Continental fliers should redeem their miles on Delta/Northwest’s combined international network (including flights on the legendary Singapore Airlines and newer Kingfisher Airlines) should also arrange their reservations soon.

Domestic fliers should know that reciprocal upgrades between Continental and Northwest will cease at that time as well. However, now that Delta and Northwest elite members can receive complimentary upgrades on each airline’s aircraft, upgrades for Continental fliers are farther and fewer between.

Awards will be honored for travel past the exit date, but new reservations will no longer be allowed. If you’re saving up for the trip of a lifetime, Oct. 24, 2009 should be marked in red on the calendar!

Lemme, Lemme Upgrade: 'Premium Economy' Is the New 'First Class'

You know that Seinfeld episode where Jerry tells Elaine, "I've flown first class, Elaine - I can't go back to coach. I can't... I won't"? It's funny, because it's true.

However, in this wonderful economic climate, sometimes first class just isn't an option. Which is why airlines are creating the wonder that is 'premium economy'.

Several airlines, mostly foreign, have reconfigured their long-haul aircraft in recent months to offer seats that are 5 inches to 8 inches longer in pitch — the distance between the seat back to the seat behind — and about 1 inch to 4 inches wider than coach seats. Some airlines also provide better food, wine, noise-canceling headphones and priority boarding. The fee to upgrade to premium economy can range from $30 to $2,000 round trip, depending on the distance and services. But seats are also hundreds or thousands of dollars cheaper than flying in business or first class.

The profit margin for the airlines -- Virgin, United, British and JetBlue are among the carriers joining this trend -- is pretty insane too; JetBlue portends to bring in an extra $40 million by simply adding five inches of legroom for a few rows of passengers.

As for the cost itself, oftentimes it depends on the flight. JetBlue's NYC to Tokyo flight can run an extra $1,200 for the upgrade (although perks such as a personal television, dank headphones and lounge access are included) while United's only asking $15 for the bonus from Chicago to Denver.

In other words, just don't bring any luggage, and it'll seem like it's free.

United Christmas Bonus Never Going to Happen

United Airlines recently announced its intention to spread some extra Christmas cheer for hard-working employees this holiday season. The airline says it will give a US$100 bonus to most of its union-represented workers ...if... United tops the month's rankings of on-time performance. If the airline only comes in second place, or meets its self-stated goal, then those same workers may receive a US$65 dollar bonus. One recent article provides the fine print for this holiday agreement:

The airline was ranked 10th in October, 17th in September and 15th in August for on-time performance. United was next-to-last for the 12 months ended in October 2008.

It really fills the heart with cheer to see a company offering Christmas bonuses despite a struggling economy. Unfortunately for all those workers, actually getting the bonus will require a Christmas miracle of Jimmy Stewart proportions.

With no real bonus in sight, and a struggling airline trying to improve it's "on-time" ranking, who really wins? The travelers of course. In the process of not ever giving out these bonuses, United may accidentally get you to your holiday destination on time. Merry Christmas.