Dave Carroll's 'United Breaks Guitars' Music Video Is a Huge Hit

Normally, airlines can get away with treating customers like crap. Why? It's the 800-pound gorilla thing. Or the capitalistic thing. But every now and then, when someone like, hypothetically, United Airlines breaks, say, Dave Carroll's Taylor Guitar, the little man fights back. That's exactly what Dave Carroll did with his freaking awesome "United Breaks Guitars" song. And it's only Part 1 -- with over 120,000 views so far on YouTube, one would think United might be shopping for some six-stringers right now.

Airline Service Improves Slightly, Fliers Agree

According to recent consumer research, airline service has gotten better over the last several months. Although the numbers aren't dramatic, it's important to note that the improved passenger experience is in spite of additional airline fees for second bags, snacks and much more.

The airline business scored 64 out of 100 in the first quarter of this year, a 3.2% increase over the same period a year ago, according to the American Customer Satisfaction Index, which randomly surveyed thousands of consumers across the U.S. Major carriers saw improved scores, or at least no decline.

Despite the fact that airlines managed to break even or improve slightly in customer satisfaction, their overall performance is relatively dismal.

Airlines were still among the lowest-scoring businesses in the index, which measured customer satisfaction with the products or services of hotels, restaurants and 14 other sectors. Full-service restaurants scored highest at 84. Airlines scored far below their own index high of 72, achieved in 1994.

Since it's graduation season, let's use an educational metaphor... that means that at their very best in 1994, fliers still gave airlines a C minus (on the 10-point scale). That makes their current "64 out of 100" a solid 'D'. But even that disappointing review may have given them too much credit.

"It certainly looks like most of these increases, if not all, are due to lower passenger load," says Claes Fornell, professor of business at the University of Michigan and index founder, noting that the recession has kept many Americans from traveling.

To continue the metaphor from earlier, airlines would have completely failed the service test, but there was a big enough curve for them to squeak by with a D.

Now to be fair, airline satisfaction will never be as high as it will for full-service restaurants. The reasons are obvious... having a well prepared meal will always be more enjoyable than spending five hours trying to sleep against a bulkhead. Not to mention security. When was the last time you had to walk through a metal detector to eat at a five star restaurant? Yet, security is a much needed aspect of air travel.

Despite all the "necessary evils" that plague air travel, there are still plenty of ways airlines could easily improve customer satisfaction and flier experience. If you need a good example, look no further than Dustin Curtis' excellent critique and redesign of American Airlines' homepage.

United States Airlines Collect $1.1 BILLION in Extra Baggage Fees in 2008

Bag checking is a dirty industry. There's no two ways about it -- if you're charging your consumer extra cash to bring their stuff with them then you shouldn't sleep at night. But it's not just a dirty industry ... it's also a billion dollar industry.

That's right -- US air carriers pocketed an absolutely obscene $1.1 BILLION in extra baggage fees in the 2008 year.

American Airlines led the way, earning $278 million in extra profit for checked baggage, with US Airways and Delta (not that) close behind at $187.1 and $177.1 million, respectively.

Of course, many economy-minded folks argue that it's wholly necessary for the airlines to charge these baggage fees; after all, they're facing a tough financial situation and need to recoup the losses incurred over the past 12 months.

I'm cool with that -- and to an extent, I don't think luggage charges are bad. My problem is that too often, airlines are charging for "standard" luggage. Southwest, for instance, allows two checked bags. That's "standard." If you're going on a trip for any reasonable length, you need to bags most of the time. Forcing people to pay simply to check reasonable amounts of luggage is just too aggressive for my tastes, even if it's worth a billion dollars.

easyJet Wants to Really Open Up the Mile-High Club

"I now pronouce you ..."

People get married in odd places (underwater, Las Vegas chapels, haunted houses, funeral homes, etc.) all the time. Go ahead and add "30,000 feet in the air" to that list, because easyJet has requested permission to hold wedding ceremonies on airplanes.

"If our request is replied positively, then so called 'floating on cloud nine' would get a new meaning for people in love - and we can offer another special service to our passengers."

[...]EasyJet captain Jeffery Husson added: "To officiate a wedding is a special honour for me.

"It would be exciting if I could marry couples above the clouds."

It would also be awkward if no one was flying the plane too, Cap. Of course it would make more sense (logically speaking) to have an actual ordained minister performing these rituals. But fiscally, I suppose a guy trained to fly an airplane will suffice in administering the holiest of vows.

Of course, there's one key issues here: where do the folks go for the honeymoon? The restroom seems the only logical place and, well, that's just awkward. Actually there are probably more, but I suppose when you concede to getting married by an airplane pilot, that's just one of the things you prepare for.

Delta Has an Idea to Generate Revenue: More Bag Charges!

Bag charges. They're the worst. But here's some even more annoying news: they're going up!

Yes, that's right. Delta has decided that people traveling a really long way shouldn't be able to pack more than one bag for anything other than highway robbery, as they've raised their "second bag price" on international flights to a whopping $50.

Effective today, for international travel beginning July 1, Delta will charge customers a $50 fee to check a second bag, which the company expects to generate more than $100 million annually.

Well, goodie for Delta, who will make a ton of money. The downside: this is, um, not awesome news for consumers. The airline may have posted huge losses recently, but that's still not an excuse to seek awkwardly aggressive methods of charging consumers in an attempt to recoup some money. They're better off doing something counter intuitive like giving out free peanuts. I'd buy more airplane tickets.

Pet Airways: For People With Awesome Priorities!

This week in completely unrealistic business models, co-founders Dan Wiesel and Alysa Binder announce the launch of Pet Airways: an airline dedicated completely to transporting people's pets between major cities.

Traditionally, pets are transported in carriers in a plane's cargo hold. But according to Wiesel, the experience can be an unpleasant one:

The experience is frightening to the pets, and can cause severe emotional and physical harm, even death. This is not what most pet owners want to subject their pets to, but they have had no other choice, until now.

Pets, or "Pawsengers" will fly in the main compartment of a turboprop plane and be attended to by caring workers. According to the airline's website, attendants will be within "a cat's meow" at all times.

The inaugural flight is slated for July 14th and the airline will serve New York, Washington DC, Chicago, Los Angeles and Denver.

Pet Airways is going to be a success for several reasons:

(1) Who doesn't have enough money hanging around to fly their pet on it's own f***ing airline?

(2) These people's priorities are top-notch and they've got the business savvy to match. Right now is the perfect time to start a pointless, extravagant service that no one really needs.

(3) It sends a positive message to the world that help is on the way! If Americans are willing to fly their cats and dogs on their own special plane, it's just a matter of time before all human beings have access to clean water and basic health care.

Man in Hurry for Bathroom on Delta Flight Charged With Felony Assault

There's nothing worse than needing to go to the bathroom on an airplane, standing up, and seeing the dreaded drink cart/stewardess combo staring back at you. There's no other recourse than to return to your seat, cross your legs and wait it out. Unless you're Joao Correa of Concord, Ohio.

Joao Correa of Concord, Ohio, says he had a bathroom emergency but his path was blocked by a beverage cart during the March 28 flight from Honduras to Atlanta. He asked if he could use the lavatory in business class, but was told no.

[...]Authorities say the 43-year-old man is accused of pulling and twisting the flight attendant's arm. He was arrested when the plane landed in Atlanta and charged with assault.

Right off the bat, I'll go ahead and say it: I feel bad for this guy. There's nothing more terrifying than having a "natural urge" (read: bowel movement) than on an airplane flight. Typically, there's some turbulence or a long line or just the awkwardness of having to hit someone's head with your rear end as you're semi-sprinting down the isle.

But with that drink cart and an unruly stewardess and the panic that sets in, well, I can kind of see why he freaked out. At the same time though, if Meet the Parents taught us anything, it's that you don't ever get angry with a flight attendant. It just doesn't work out well for anyone.

Airlines Getting Better Report Finds

Airline performance is at a four-year high according to a recent study by private researchers. The study, which is based on government statistics, examines factors like the timeliness of flights, number of lost bags, and the percentage of passengers who file complaints to determine overall quality.

Of the 17 airlines researched, Hawaiian Airlines took first place, followed by Airtran Airways and Jet Blue. American, Continental, Delta and United were all in the middle with regional airlines filling out the bottom third.

The study found consumer complaints dipped from 1.42 per 100,000 passengers in 2007 to 1.15 in 2008. Southwest Airlines had the best rate, only 0.25 complaints per 100,000 passengers; US Airways had the worst rate, 2.25.

The average on-time performance last year was 3 percentage points better than the year before, yet nearly one-quarter of all flights were late. The study said 12 airlines improved from the previous year, but only three airlines had better than an 80% on-time rate: Hawaiian, 90%; Southwest, 80.5%; and US Airways, 80.1%.

American, the nation's largest air carrier as measured by passengers flown the most miles, had the worst record, arriving on time only 69.8% of the time.

Although airlines have made strides to improve customer experience, the reduced number of travelers has had the most significant impact in reducing lost bags and bumped ticket-holders. Aviation experts say the world's air transport system had reached capacity in 2007 (the year airlines did the worst in this study) and now, due to decreased travelers, things are starting to improve.

Dean Headley, aviation expert and co-author of the study argues that now's the to improve our air transportation system.

He urged Congress to take advantage of this "breathing room" to move forward on a system that would replace decades-old radar technology with satellite-based technology.

That new system is forecast to increase air transportation system capacity by enabling planes to fly closer together and more directly to their destinations, saving time and fuel.

"It's crazy to think we can keep going the way we were going with the volume of planes we have in the air," Headley said.

Steve Bierfeldt Detained by TSA for Carrying $4,700 in Cash, Records the Conversation

Steve Bierfeldt was detained by the TSA while leaving from St. Louis on an airplane for carrying $4,700 in cash. He was smart enough to record the conversation with his phone (insert collective traveler fist pump ... here). And, naturally, it's made its way onto the interwebz! Here's audio/video, followed by an interview with Bierfeldt:

Can't see how this ends poorly for the TSA, at all. I mean, no chance, right? Exactly. As noted in the interview, he was employed by Ron Paul's campaign and had a bunch of bumper stickers, and apparently the Mizzou police issued an order that Ron Paul supporters are "militia members" or some-such. Anyway, the greater point is that the TSA needs to realize that they can't just flex their muscle whenever they want, and threatening travelers is just going to blow up in their face.

Via Mark Ashley at Upgrade: Travel Better

Emergency Exits Shouldn't Be This Easy to Open

Emergency exits are a critical part of the pre-flight torture preparation for airline passengers. After all, in the event of an emergency, everyone should know that how to get off an airplane.

But at the same time, I'm not so sure I like the idea that anyone can just sprint to the airplane and pop one open. Lest you think they can't, listen to what happened on a Dallas-Fort Worth runway yesterday:

A 26-year-old passenger on board an American Airlines jet from Charlotte to Dallas opened a door and slid down an inflatable emergency chute Tuesday as the aircraft waited to taxi to its gate at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport.

The man, who had not been identified Tuesday night, reportedly ran into the first class section of American Airlines Flight 1343 and opened the exit door, according to an airport advisory. The plane, an MD-80, had just arrived from Charlotte/Douglas International Airport about 1 p.m. and was parked on a ramp when the incident happened.

Now, maybe he was trying to avoid unnecessary flight expenditures. Or perhaps he really had to go to the bathroom and just happens to be claustrophobic. 

But here's a different issue: how the mess is it possible to open an emergency exit that quickly? I mean, I totally understand why you want to be able to pop those suckers open (it is, after all, hopefully an emergency when they're being used) but I can't even get my car door open that quickly. That's mainly because it locks automatically when the car is moving at more than zero miles per hour. Which is something I might suggest for airlines to consider. 

United Flight Crew Allegedly Calls Coach Passengers "IDIOTS"

The first rule of being a flight attendent isn't even: "be polite." I think we all know that too well. The first rule is "don't ever call anyone on your plane an 'idiot.'"

Well, according to the Consumerist and reader Nicholas, the flight crew of United Airlines flight 941 from Chicago to Denver did just that.

[...]I am a frequent business traveler. I was on United flight 941 from Chicago to Denver. On takeoff and landing I always listen to the cockpit communications. Hearing the dulcet tones of the pilot helps ease some of my flying nervousness. During flight 941 I didn't hear anything from the cockpit during takeoff and once we were in the air I heard something odd on the cockpit communications channel. It appeared I was hearing the flight attendants communications. I could see them talking on the phone near the bulkhead and I could hear it on the cockpit channel. Most of the conversation was fairly innocuous but when it was time to serve drinks I heard: "We start on drinks for the IDIOTS in coach". It was at that point one of my fellow passengers let them know we could hear what they were saying. They stopped using the communications system and offered no apology.

I've sent the story to United and surprise… no response.

Here's the thing. It's not always personal when something like this happens. Just because it does once doesn't mean that stewards and stewardesses don[t care for the vast majority of people who happen to pay for his/her income. And it doesn't mean that they don't secretly love anyone who doesn't want to waste the extra $300 to sit in a bigger seat and get a hot towel. 

But United, presuming that Nicholas' email is accurate, needs to do something to address this issue, because, as it stands now, they're kind of getting away with it. One has to wonder how long that will last if it gets national attention.

Breaking: U.S. Airways Announces Return to Free Drinks for All Flights

Ramsey Qubein is Travelin' Light's on-the-road correspondent.

US Airways management is reversing its decision to sell drinks in the Economy cabin bringing free soda, coffee, tea, and, yes, even water back to the traveling public. Since the idea was announced in 2008, passengers and flight attendants have dealt with grumblings that the charges were a step too far on the "fee front".

Management claims that Coach passengers were not booking away from the carrier due to the charge and that there was no significant dip in passenger satisfaction (their justification for keeping the charge, one they had hoped other airlines would match).

Anecdotal evidence suggests that customers were indeed booking away and dissatisfied with the nickel-and-diming approach. Thankfully, the Tempe, Ariz.-based airline will adjust the program to free non-alcoholic drinks in the main cabin. Alcoholic drinks and certain specialty items will remain for sale as on other airlines.

The sale of drinks produced cleaner cabins as there was less trash from drink cans on board and subsequently less use of the restrooms. But, as the only airline in the United States to charge for a cup of water, this change is a step back in the right direction for US Airways passengers. Now, if only the ridiculous $50 surcharge to book so-called "free" award travel would be erased!